Day 1 of my second outing with “One Day, One Blog, every day for a month” challenge. ( I was foolish enough to challenge myself, and then declare it to the world so that I can’t get out of it)
One night in December 2010.
Bappa had passed away a few months ago. I was staying at my parents’ place and my Mom was sitting on my bed for a late night chat.
Thus goes a conversation between us:
“Mom… If you die before I do, can you write me a letter from wherever you are ……just to let me know that you are OK? Oh … and do check on Bappa and tell me if he is ok, too.”
Mom’s retort went something like this, “Hmm…As if I will have nothing better to do than write letters when I am in heaven…(Then she adds as a concession)…But yeah…I will look up your Bappa there”
My Mom was famous for her whacky attitude to life. The “Bappa” mentioned here is my father-in-law ( Just to give a bit of perspective, my parents thought I made the right choice when I decided to marry Chandu, AFTER they met my father-in-law. He was a hot favourite.)
Three months after this conversation, my mother passed away.
Since she was not ill at the time, you may be wondering what prompted the above conversation.
In part, I was very concerned/curious about how Bappa was doing in the after-life ( what?? People in their 30s can’t have such thoughts??) and in part because I had inherited my Mom’s irreverent attitude to life.
2019. Day 1.
True to her word, no letters have come. Yet. It has taken me 7 years to write about her or even think about her while maintaining my composure.
And it is now that I have started to recognize certain things. While no letters may have come, she left behind a lot to constantly remind me of what is important in life — to guide me back onto my path when I get derailed.
I call this my Mom’s Legacy.
- Be so kind so that you are remembered for your kindness long after you are gone.
- Sometimes you need to be the parent to your siblings, your spouse and even your friends.
- Celebrate every little joy. Hug your friends. Share a lot of love.
- Happiness is a choice you make.
- When I am not there with you, I will send my God to take care of you.(A firm belief in something bigger than us)
- Forgive. As much as you can and then some more.. .If the person was cruel to you, it may have come from a place of immense hurt that you cannot see.
My Mom was an ardent believer of Lord Krishna. Today, without any particular design, I am at a temple dedicated to Lord Krishna.
I still miss Mom. But now I have come to realize that she lives on in us, in those people who lives she touched.
As for New year’s goals — for this year and every year, I will just try and live up to her ideals. The journey itself will make me a pretty decent person 🙂
Happy New Year!