The “Good Woman” Manifesto
Day 4 of “One Day, One Blog” — a challenge I set for myself for the month of January 2019.
Disclaimer:- This clandestine treatise, captured on paper for the first time, contains timeless wisdom of the ages that is only to be whispered from generation to generation, mother to daughter. It is published here at great risk to the author, who prefers to remain anonymous lest she be “Assanged”.
Setting: A dark room with no windows, dimly bathed in the flickering light of two ancient oil lamps. The fumes from an exotic incense give a sweet, heady feeling to the occupants.
The all-powerful Oracle sits on a pedestal and the commandments are shared with the novice, who is now ready to be initiated into womanhood.
“Welcome to the sisterhood of “The Good Women”.
Your sole purpose on this Earth is to protect the reputation of family. Towards that end, this manifesto created centuries ago must diligently be followed.
You are a Good Woman and therefore you shall prevail over your wild, free nature and commit to a life that upholds the greatest covenants of the sacred domestic feminine archetype. Thou shalt –
- Learn to cook, wash and keep a clean house — Any other academic qualification, including that PhD in astrophysics will primarily serve the purpose of being hurdle despite which you manage to do the above tasks well. The greater the qualification, the greater will be the respect you earn for cooking, washing, and keeping a clean house.
- Not fall in love before marriage — The Good Woman’s sacred virginity resides in her thoughts and the denial of her desires. Forget multiple relationships. Else thou shalt be cast aside and called a slut.
- Have an arranged marriage — Else it shall be declared that you lack character and your parents failed in your upbringing. (Even if you fall in love and have been living-in with the said guy, tell your relatives that the “guy” liked you and approached your family. All very proper)
- Rear 2 children after marriage (one boy and one girl — nothing else is perfect). That is your ultimate desire. You just don’t know it yet.
- NOT have a career — Good women do not have ambitions. Full Stop. If your parents have instilled good values in you, then you wouldn’t suffer from this affliction. Just ignore any vile thoughts about finding success at the workplace and you will soon forget about it. That will ensure that you grow to be bitter and can then torture your children and later your daughter-in-law, so they too follow our manifesto. Hail Good Woman!
- NOT have an opinion — either about matters of the world or your own life. Girls should only be seen (in appropriate conservative traditional clothing) and not heard. Else your parents failed in your upbringing
- Other Lesser Decree
- Travel Alone — NO
- Wear clothes you like — NO
- Alcohol — NO (if you drink after marriage, do so only when no one else is around. Pretend to be “pure” by refusing vehemently if you are ever offered a drink. Now, if you ARE very modern, then say, “yes, but I only have red wine. Thank you”).
- Attend every family function — Unlike your husband, you do not have a ‘real job’ and should readily take leave or quit your job if leave is not approved for your “mother-in-law’s brother’s wife’s sister’s” baby shower.
- Entrepreneur — Nothing more ambitious than a garments boutique (and do not even think of expanding it).
- Put up with marital abuse of ANY kind and form and keep it a secret — the reputation of your family lies in your misery.
- You shall not exercise — give up eating but no exercise.
- You shall not learn self-defense — Good girls stay at home and do not need protection. The men in your house will protect you.
8. The last and most important decree — You hereby promise that you will judge EVERY other woman by these sacred parameters to establish and maintain your moral superiority.
Signed,
“The Oracle and Keeper of purity of Womanhood”
Aka. Every Neighbourhood aunty
Note from the persecuted author:- I have put my life at risk to publish this manifesto. I may have missed out a few doctrines as I am on the run. I welcome you to add any key ones I may have missed to this list. — either about matters of the world or your life.
